Nine Fingers

“Update: Appearantly it’s called s trigger finger & it’s common situation that might occur anytime anywhere. My finger is fine now but still aches if I squeeze it.”
12:31 AM,

I’m typing this post using a hand and a half because I’ve spent the entire day playing a game on my phone and all of a sudden my left ring finger was stuck and it felt so painful to move it from the position it’s locked to.

I’m trying to move it a little, seems like it’s getting better with time now that I used some hot pads, rubbed my hands with my only friend in this world Rub.A535 cream and wore my IMAK gloves or as I refer to them my emergency gloves.

It’s still hurting me but somehow I’m adapting to this although I’m freaking out to the little voice screaming in my head that this is the beginning of a series of worse and more serious symptoms but so far I’m doing a great job avoiding it.

 

My sister keeps asking me how I feel and how am I doing on the progress scale and my answer is is the same..There’s nothing different.

My family is still confused with these answers because they don’t see me complain or crying from pain any more. I have learnt how to wear my pain gracefully and I know how to deal with my body silently without involving anyone else.

I keep track of my episodes through some notes on my phone or through this blog and they remind me of my black days when it seems like I’m having a colorful one and vice versa.

My last doctor appointment wasn’t my favorite, I have been on both MTX and Hydroxychloroquine for almost a month now and according to my tests results in next week my doctor will decide if it’s time to jump to the next line of treatment or wait a little longer.

I’m scared.

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