I had a very long day today. It was the first time in so long to drive this much and I owe my body a huge apology.
It’s almost 1 am now and I’m sitting in bed too scared to lay down because I know that’s when all the monsters will gather to party over my wrecked up body.
I don’t know where to start or what details to mention but on a side note I’m very proud of myself that I made it out of bed and managed to pull it through all the walking and driving in traffic, although I did skip the shopping part at the end because I would’ve ended up in the hospital like last time I pushed myself to go shopping.
The first thing I did the moment I stepped into the house was pop a painkiller and showered with a deep heat bath foam, now I’m sipping my green tea as I write this and pretending everything will be okay and that I’m not going to regret any of this *yeah I’m totally not going to regret putting myself through so much physical pain to meet my ex and act like we’re still friends and that she’s not the reason my insecurities are rising*
Today, I have felt the fear and did it anyway..