Four days after MTX

Monday 17.4.2017

I didn’t sign up for this.

I call myself brave while I’m trying so hard to find myself a ray from the brighter side to help me pull myself out of this wreckage that I am.

It’s been a while since I’ve been this “unwell” at work. I’m shivering, I’m anxious, I’ve been to all the happy places in my head to ignore this but it’s not going away.

I would like to go home, lay underneath my blanket and cry myself to sleep.

On a scale of 1 to 10 in the pain scale I’m feeling a 5, maybe a 6 but the point is I’m not having a flare, I just don’t feel okay.

The worst is yet to come.

 

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